When You Suspect Them of Cheating

April 25, 2009 by  
Filed under Cheating and Infidelity

If you suspect your partner is cheating on you, you may have a gut feeling about it or have found some evidence that he or she is not being 100% truthful with you. Before accusing them of infidelity, consider that there may be another reason you’re finding odd behavior and evidence about your partner’s recent whereabouts.

Discovering your trusted partner has been unfaithful is one of the most dreaded and hurtful events that could happen to almost anyone. The pain and hurt associated with this type of discovery can lead to exposing an entire host of feelings you never knew you were capable of having.

When suspecting your spouse has cheated, the issue must be approached very carefully. Yes, you need to discover the truth, but you can not let the suspicions take over your sleep, work and personal life. Approaching the issue with a clear head and objective mind is the best way to find the truth in the best manner possible.

If you do not have definite proof of cheating, remember to keep your cool and not overreact too soon. Your suspicions may be warranted due to other evidence you have discovered, but remember that there could be any number of reasons for a secret receipt or travel record that you were unaware of. Always practice your deep breathing and try to remain calm; ask yourself how you might react if the truth is revealed and your partner has been cheating.

The most important thing to remember is that when infidelity occurs, you must determine the reasons for the cheating. There is no sense in losing sleep over things you cannot change; it is best to focus on getting on with your life and changing the circumstances in your life that you can.

Stop blaming yourself for your partner’s behavior, and quit losing sleep over things you still can’t confirm. Often, suspicions of cheating are only figments of our imagination, exposing fears we have about what is wrong in our relationship. For example, if your suspicions are based on the fact that intimacy has let up in the relationship, consider it may be due to health concerns versus cheating.

Examine your relationship and determine if there are communication problems between the two of you. Are you comfortable discussing your fears with each other? Don’t let your emotions take over your approach to discovering the truth about your partner’s behavior and the current state of the relationship.

Remember it is more important for the long-term health of your relationship to discover the reasons for changes in behavior that are causing your suspicions versus actually catching them ‘in the act.’ If you simply accuse your partner of cheating, you may damage the relationship permanently for no good reason if it turns out that your suspicions aren’t warranted.

Try to refrain from accusing and reacting until you know the entire story and the truth behind your suspicions, and you’ll have nothing to regret later on. Maintain your objectivity and prepare yourself for the worst, but don’t expect it, either. This will allow you to attempt to work through whatever issues may arise from the conversation with your significant other.

Comments are closed.